Monday, September 30, 2013

Mistakes will be Made

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

So Far, So Good

Tonight will mark my fourth show on Get It Together Girl Radio. After a rocky start, I can see an improvement with every episode. I've realized that I really love doing a radio show. I love the actual show. I love recording promos. I love working with guests. I have found my passion.

But passion is nothing without commitment. And I am committed to growing my show, making it the best that it can be. What does this mean? It means that when I come home from my day job, I am working on my show in the evenings and on the weekends. It means that I am willing to invest what cash I have into promotion, advertising and what is needed to make my show better.

Commitment means seeking out the opinions of others and really listening to them, even if it means hearing something I don't like or agree with. Commitment means getting out of my comfort zone for the sake of my dream.

So ask yourself, what are you passionate about? Are you committed to doing what it takes to transform that passion from a nice idea to a tangible reality?

Monday, September 23, 2013

Put Yourself First

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

Last week, I spoke about my people-pleasing nature and how important it was for everyone to like me. I usually put other people first. I didn't want people to dislike me and I didn't like a lot of drama or friction, so I would sacrifice my happiness to make sure everything was running smoothly.

Over ten years ago, I was up late, working on a freelance project. I had accepted a ridiculous deadline and charged way below what the project was worth. I was tired. No, I was beyond tired. It was at this point that I had an epiphany. I realized that the only person struggling right now was me. The person who had hired me was probably fast asleep knowing that she was getting high-quality work for a fraction of the cost.

That brief, fleeting concept changed a lot of things. It was the beginning of me developing a backbone. I completed the assignment but when I turned it in I explained that the next time, with a deadline so close I would have to charge more ... or just say no. To my surprise, I wasn't met with anger or hostility. I actually got an apology.

I realized that when people ask for something, they realize that the answer might be 'no' and normally, that is okay with them. Denying a request wasn't a relationship ender. No one would hate me. I wasn't burning bridges. However, I was taking care of myself. People said no to me and I didn't have such extreme reactions.

So now when people ask me for something and I cannot accommodate their request, I can say no or counter with an offer that I can accomplish.

I've realized the importance of putting myself first. I know now that if I don't no one else will.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Everyone Doesn't Have to Like Me

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

I half-jokingly tell people that I am 'naturally popular'. I am an extrovert and have never had a problem meeting people and making friends. It's always been this way. Yet when I was younger, I'd say until my early 30's, I needed everyone to like me. When someone didn't, I'd wreck my brain trying to figure out why.

This also made me a people pleaser. I didn't want to have anyone upset with me. I became the girl who couldn't say no. If a friend was in a bind or needed something, I would be there ... even if it set me back. As a freelance writer, I would undercharge and accept unrealistic deadlines.

Then, one night when I was up late working on a project where I had agreed to do too much work for too little money and with not enough time that I came to a realization, actually two.

  1. The only person suffering with these unrealistic expectations was me. Everyone else was getting what they wanted.
  2. The world wouldn't end if I pushed back a little. Other people said no, so why couldn't I?
So I started doing a better job of setting boundaries. I was shocked to realize that I didn't lose friends and people didn't hate me if I said I couldn't do something. I also realized the power of the counter-offer. I can't do what you asked but this is what I can do. 

Because people pleasing is in my nature, I occasionally find myself doing too much for the people in my life but it doesn't happen as frequently (i.e. all the time).

I also realized that it is okay if people don't like me. Maybe it is me and maybe it's them. Either way, it is nothing to lose sleep over.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Relationships End

For the month of September, every Monday I'll be sharing some reflections of forty something years of living!

In high school, I thought I'd have the same friends for life. I had four girlfriends and I imagined us growing old together a la The Golden Girls. Today, I am only good friends with one of them. The rest of us just grew apart. It used to make me sad. Now I just accept it as a part of life.

Even with my best friend, the only relationship from that gang of four that lasted, things have changed. I've moved a bajillion times and haven't lived in my hometown for decades now. She's gotten married and had kids. Things have changed. Yet, at the same time, we've grown and matured along a similar path. This has allowed us to remain close as zip codes, careers and marital statuses have changed.

Over the years, people have come into my life and left just as quickly. Others have forged a strong bond with me similar to that I'd had back in my high school days. I've realized that there is a lot of truth to that saying that some people are only in your life for a reason and some for a season.

Another thing I've realized about relationships is that water truly does seek its own level. No matter where I've lived - Ohio, Maryland, California, Arizona or North Carolina, my friends have always shared a set of similar characteristics. It seems odd but I seem to attract the same kinds of people. And the amazing thing is that they are all good people!

Still some of us briefly crossed paths and a few of them have remained in my life. For all of them, I am grateful.

Even when a relationship runs its course, it doesn't mean that it is a bad thing. Some things just end and there is no judgement to it, it's just life.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

It's Here: Get It Together Girl Radio!

Tonight is the night.  After months of planning and preparation, I am launching my own BlogTalkRadio show with Get It Together Girl Radio! Like the workbooks, the show will focus on the little things you can do and changes you can make that will make a major difference in your life.

We'll talk about organization and time management (but I promise you it won't be boring!). We'll talk about relationships (not just romantic ones but family, friends and workplace relationships too). We'll talk about health and wealth. We'll talk about setting and achieving goals and living your dreams!

This is sort of like coming full circle for me. My degree is in broadcast journalism and I worked in radio for several years after college. However, eating shouldn't be optional and cars run better on gas than fumes so I made a career change. People who know me know that this project makes sense for me and the person that I am. A radio show is definitely within my wheelhouse. For me, it is living a dream.

I am truly excited about this. I'm lining up great guest, covering amazing topics and looking forward to calls from listeners and chatting with them.

The live show airs Thursday nights at 8:00 p.m. (EST). If you miss the live show, you can always visit the archive and replay the show when it is convenient by going to

I hope you share even a little bit of the my enthusiasm. I would love to hear your voices on the show. Call in! Chat with me!

Also if you or anyone you know would be interested in being a guest, email me at karyn