Flattery will not get you everywhere especially when the words don’t ring true. People can sense insincerity and eventually, flowery words wilt away and people see them for what they really are. Insincere compliments and words are dishonest. Dishonestly breeds suspicion. Once people sense a little dishonesty, they being to look for more dishonesty.
When combined with a request, a compliment is also a big no-no. If you want something, ask for it. Don’t couch your request in insincere compliments or flattery. Heck, even if your compliment is accurate and well-meaning, it becomes tainted as soon as it is followed with a request.
My cousin is big on multi-level marketing. It isn’t uncommon for him to call former co-workers, old friends, my friends and just about anyone else to tell them about the ‘opportunity.’ People are initially glad to hear from him until they find out that he hasn’t called to catch up, see how they are doing or share fond memories. No, he’s called to set an appointment to discuss an ‘amazing business opportunity.’ He doesn’t understand why that is such a turn-off. He doesn’t get that entire conversation preceding the request immediately comes off as insincere and crass. Who wants to do business with someone like that?
At the same time, if you see something that merits your attention and your admiration, say so. A sincere compliment can make someone’s day. If you like their haircut, say so! If a color looks good on someone mention it! If you appreciate the time someone took to work with you or address your concern, make it known.
As a corporate trainer, I’ve done my share of customer service training. When I receive really good service, I don’t hesitate to tell the person who has given me the service that they’ve done a great job. And, I’ll go a step further and ask to speak to their manager as well. A job well done deserves just as much attention as a job poorly done!
Speak from the heart and you’ll never go wrong!
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