Favorite Funny Quotes

1. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin
2. The meek will inherit the earth – if that’s okay with everyone else. – Author Unknown
3. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. ~ Rita Mae Brown
4. Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.  ~ Faith Whittlesey
5. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget constraints – Elaine Ambros (humor expert)
6. There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and ... – Brad Ramsey
7. If you're going to make every game a matter of life or death, you're going to have a lot of problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot. -- Dean Smith
8. If you think something small can't make a difference, try going to sleep with a mosquito in the room. - Unknown
9. Pro and con are opposites, that fact is clearly seen. If progress means to move forward, then what does congress mean?" - Nipsey Russell
10. If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson
11. I only know how to do things 3 ways: the WRONG way. the RIGHT way. and MY way. Which is really the WRONG way, only faster! ~ Unknown