I was listening to the radio on my drive home the other day and the deejays were discussing an interesting question. “With most women working and super busy, does the average woman know how to make a happy home?” Obviously, there is quite a bit of sexism in that question, however, it got me thinking.
When asking about what it takes to make a happy home, there is an underlying assumption that the people involved want a happy home. I would argue that there are many people for whom happiness is not the goal.
I remember a friend who went from one tumultuous relationship to the next. For her a stable, drama-free content relationship was, in her words, boring. A lot of people live on the adrenaline rush that comes with drama, conflict, strife and uncertainty. They want the roller coaster, not the Ferris wheel.
So for me, the first requirement for a happy home would be people who want to be happy. I think the first step for a happy anything is the desire to be happy. And most of us can be a little happier if we want to be.
Notice, I said happier … not richer. A lot of people equate happiness with material things and that isn’t the case. Looking back at your childhood, are your best memories the ones with the most expensive toys or are they the ones that cost nothing but laughter?
If happiness is your goal, don’t put it off until the perfect situation arises. Find happiness where you can find it right now.
I’m very single right now and frankly, I’d rather not be. However, I am not going to wait until I’m in a relationship to be happy. I’m going to enjoy right now. I make happiness a daily scavenger hunt. I try to uncover happy moments throughout my day – a laugh with a coworker, a conversation with a friend, playing with my dog, a favorite TV show, a nice bubble bath, fixing a good meal– are all things that bring a smile to my face and brighten my day a bit.
And that’s important. Happiness is a state of mind and it’s made up of moments. In between those moments, there are frustrations, annoyances and disappointments. Its choosing to focus on the happy that ultimately makes us happy … if that’s what you want.
So if you want a happy home, start by filling it with people who make happiness a priority.