Relationship Rescue: Get Your Head Outta the Sand!

For the four Mondays in November, we’ll be attempting a relationship rescue. Even if you aren’t in a relationship, this can help you for the next time you are.

Like the ostrich, many times it is easier to bury our heads in the sand and not confront the sometimes ugly truth. It isn’t that we don’t see the signs that a relationship is in trouble. Most often, we choose a different interpretation.

Yet, on a certain level, a deeper level, we know that something is seriously wrong. Not only is it wrong, but it is probably also complicated, messy and unpleasant to deal with. So we ignore it or make excuses for it.

Of course, I’m talking about infidelity but I’m also talking about more than that. Cheating isn’t the only problem that relationships encounter. There are a myriad of things from abuse to addiction and even indifference or feelings of overwhelm to contend with.

Whatever the issue, ignoring it won’t make it better. You have to deal with it in all its ugly, complicated and messy glory. This requires both honesty and openness. You need to be honest about what you are feeling and what you are experiencing. However, you need to be open to the other person’s feelings and experiences. My Aunt Linda told me a long time ago not to ask a question if you weren’t ready for the answer … especially because it might not be the one you want.

Yet, you have to get down and dirty if you want to get to the bottom of things … and you have to get to the bottom before you can start your rise to the top again.

Relationships, be they romantic, professional or personal, go from bad to worse when issues are allowed to fester and worsen. An wound needs to be treated and bandaged so that it can heal. It won’t get better on it’s own. The antiseptic you use to clean the wound will hurt and the bandage to protect it might be uncomfortable but in the end, it is a pain and discomfort that is necessary to cleanse the wound and let the healing begin.Re