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When I say relationship, I’m not talking about romantic, familial or even friendship, I’m talking business today. I know people who love to network. They attend lots of networking functions with lots of ‘networking professionals’. I have attended a few of those events and decided that ‘networking’ wasn't a prudent use of my time … at least the way it is currently done.
Basically, it goes like this. You attend a ‘networking function’ … half of which are happy hours that are labeled ‘networking.’ You make sure you have a stack of your business cards and normally, you have a goal to give out XX number of your cards.
As you approach people, you patiently wait until they are done giving their introduction, so that you can give yours and at the end you can exchange cards. Now, you are one person closer to your goal. This goes on all night and at the end of the evening, you have a stack of cards. That was some successful networking!
If you have a newsletter or engage in any email marketing, you will quickly add all of these people to your list. Otherwise, you will friend them on Facebook and blast them with every event you are having. I’ve actually unfriended people who were absolutely relentless in blasting me, sometimes several times a day, with their information.
I’ve tried unsuccessfully to try to connect with many of these people after the event by sending them an email and trying to initiate a real conversation and make a real connection, without much success, so I stopped attending these functions.
What I do now is more personal. If I come across a blog, a speaker or a professional I am interested in, I contact them directly and start a conversation. Without the pressure of collecting business cards, it works much better. When I come across something that might be interesting to that person I send it to them. If they are local, I invite them to lunch or to coffee. I actually get to know them and allow them to get to know me.
There is an old saying in sales that people buy from people they like. I think that is true. I also think it’s true for networking. People refer people they like. So give people the chance to know you, that is the only way they can ever like you.
A business card, no matter how beautiful will never convey who you are and what you are about.
I went to a networking event a few months ago. As usual, as soon as the formal presentation ended, we all got down to the business of ‘networking’ – otherwise known as passing out business cards to as many people as possible. The next morning, I pulled out my cards and wrote a personal email to every person I had met the night before.
A few weeks later, I met one of the women I’d met for coffee. She told me of all the cards she had passed out and collected, I was the only one who reached out and contacted her. I can’t say I was surprised.
When we talk about networking, most of us are talking about it from a self-centered perspective. What can this person do for me? Who could this person introduce me to? It’s no wonder networking gets most people nowhere.
Networking is not a one-way street. It’s about building relationships. What does that mean in the real world? It means that you need to also be asking, “Who do I know that can use this person’s services?” “Is there any information or resources that I have that I could share with this person?” Networking is about giving as much as it is about receiving.
In the spirit of networking, here are some basic no-nos: - No Eye Contact: When you are talking to someone be present. Make eye contact with that person. Listen to them and engage in a real conversation. I’ve actually met people who have been vaguely talking to me while casing the room for someone ‘more important’ than me to talk to. Talk about rude!
- No Conversation: When I talk to someone, yes, I want to talk about what I do and they want to talk about what they do, but at the same time, I don’t want to hear a canned sales pitch or a script that someone has memorized and is just regurgitating to me. Make the conversation more organic, make it flow.
- No Follow-Up: Remember who you talked to and send them a quick email or voicemail to let them know you enjoyed talking to them. If you really hit it off with someone, ask them to meet you for lunch or coffee. A stack of business cards might look impressive but it means nothing if you haven’t done anything with them.
- No Assistance: When I come across articles or people I think might be of use to someone in my network, I don’t hesitate to send the article with a little note or do a quick email introduction between people I think would need to know each other.
