Win in 2010: Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself!

This is the third in a six part series called Win in 2010 designed to help readers stick to their goals and make the most out of the New Year.

I love, love, love doing this part in my goal-setting workshop. When I tell people to “Stop shoulding all over themselves!” I always get a few double-takes and startled expressions. Of course, those people thought I said something else! LOL!

Basically a should goal is a goal that isn’t your goal as much as it is someone else’s. Your doctor says you should stop smoking. All the magazines and your skinny-minny sister tell you that you should lose some weight. Your father tells you that you should stop renting and buy a house. I think you get the picture. Sometimes it isn’t even another person, it’s something for some reason that you think you should do.

If any of those things are things you really want for yourself, great – that’s a real goal. But, if you are motivated by what you think or someone else thinks you should do, then you’re in trouble. Setting a should goal is a recipe for failure. No one succeeds at something they should do. Success comes when it’s something you want to do.

You start a goal with all the desire and good intentions in the world and then it (life) happens. Those shoes are calling to you even though they aren’t in your budget. Speaking of splurging, the cupcakes at the baby shower are singing their lovely siren call and beckoning you to take one (or two). Maybe the bed feels just too good and you want to roll over for another hour instead of getting up and working out. That’s when your motivation kicks in. That’s when your desire to succeed is going to get you over the hurdle or get you back up and in the race should you fall off track.

Should goals have no motivation. In fact, should goals often come with resentment. It’s not what you your goal and you really don’t want it anyway. So you find a reason to buy the shoes (they do match that one outfit you have perfectly), or eat the cupcakes (you don’t want to be rude, after all), and your ankle might have been a little tight yesterday and you don’t want to injure yourself!

If any goal on your list is one that you should do and not what you want to do cross it off. Get rid of it! Should goals make it harder for you to achieve your real goals. They slow down your momentum. They zap your energy and that energy zap can be contagious and before you know it, you find yourself putting the brakes on the goals you really want to go for.

So again, stop shoulding on yourself!

Time Clutter

When we talk about getting rid of clutter, thoughts turn to the overstuffed closet, the packed garage and all the piles of papers and odd knick knacks that we have lying around the house. It makes sense to get rid of all of that excess stuff.

But when we talk about getting rid of clutter, we should also look at time clutter. When you get to the end of the day and you realize that you’ve done a lot but accomplished little, chances are you a victim of time clutter.

When clients lament about not having enough time, I just smile. We all have the same amount of time and sure children, long commutes, demanding bosses that demand ‘face time’ in the office, and family and social obligations play a role, almost all of us can find some time in their day … if we want to.

I talk to people who insist adamantly that they don’t have time and for those people, I don’t have much to say. They are convinced that they don’t have time and nothing I say will convince them otherwise… if this is you, stop reading now.

However, if you want to create more time in your day and get rid of time clutter, then consider the following.

Question Your Obligations: There is probably at least one thing you do that you can get rid of – social activities you no longer enjoy, extra assignments you took on. Do you really need to do those things? I started a photography club some years ago. It was supposed to be a casual club and basically a way for photographers to get together. Before long, I had over 60 members. I was taking dues, and spending hours every week looking for guest speakers and finding events. I began to loathe that club. I continued for about a year out of obligation but when I disbanded the club after that, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders; it was definitely the right thing to do.

Use Your Downtime: Use your work commute to listen to a book on tape. If you have a hands-free device, use that time to return phone calls. If you are waiting for the kids to finish a practice or a class, use that time to make your shopping list or to balance your checkbook. Time spent commuting on a train can be golden. I return calls while walking my dog. When I have a doctor’s appointment, I take something with me to do: checkbook, grocery list, to do list or just some reading I need to catch up on.

Be Strategic: If you don’t need to have a conversation, you just need to give someone some information, try returning calls during lunch time or in the early evening when the person isn’t likely to be in. If they aren’t around, you can leave a voicemail or better yet respond via email. Now, if you need questions answered or clarification on an issue, the best thing to do is pick up the phone and talk to the person. There is nothing more time consuming than having a conversation going back and forth voicemail. Emails that go back and forth are also major time wasters, if you are getting into a volley of emails, it’s probably best to just pick up the phone and call.

Be Mindful of Media: I know people who brag about not having time to watch TV. Yet, many of these people spend an inordinate amount of time on the computer: emailing, Facebooking, and surfing the Internet. In terms of media, moderation is key. Only watch TV shows that you truly enjoy. Set a time limit for how long you will be on the computer and honor it. You can almost always do with less TV and internet (but by all means, continue to read this blog!).

Start Earlier or End Later: Get up a half hour earlier or stay up a half hour later. Or split the difference get up 15 minutes early and stay up 15 minutes later. Use that time to get some little things done: laundry, chores around the house, returning emails. It can make a big difference.

Keep an eye out for time clutter. Once you become aware of it, you will begin finding pockets of time that can be used more effectively or areas that need to be de-cluttered.

Win in 2010: Too Many Goals So Little Time!

This is the second in a six part series called Win in 2010 designed to help readers stick to their goals and make the most out of the New Year.

In the book, Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done, the author, Ram Charan, list a shocking statistic. Basically, he’s illustrating the point that the more goals you have, the less likely you are to achieve them.

• If you have 2 – 3 goals, you will accomplish 2 – 3 goals.
• If you have 4 – 10 goals, you will accomplish 1 – 2 goals.
• If you have more than 10 goals, you will accomplish ZERO!!!

When it comes to goal setting, it pays to be focused. The more goals you have, the more unfocused you become. You are running here and there and everywhere and although you are doing a lot, often you are accomplishing very little.

In our fast-paced, multi-tasking society, it’s good to be busy. We admire those people who ‘burn the candle at both ends’ or who ‘keep too much on their plates.’ So, it stands to reason that we would want to set 15 goals for the year.

I used to be guilty of that. I’d start the year with a few goals but then I felt like a slacker, so I’d end up with at least 10-12 goals and sure enough, I would never achieve all of those goals. The ones I did achieve were the few I chose to focus on. The rest, well, they just sort of fell by the way side.

Charan is showing us is that focused and targeted effort is more effective than a whole lot of busy. And darn if I didn’t prove that as true in my own life!

So what I suggest is to pick your three most important goals and start with those. Once you get them accomplished, you can add a new goal. For goals like saving money, reducing debt and losing weight that might take a while, get it going, establish some good habits and once you feel comfortable that you are on the right track, then add a new goal.

What do you want to accomplish most this year? When you are getting all gussied up and ready to go out and ring in 2011, and you pause briefly to reflect on the year that was, what do you want your most recent accomplishments to be? The first few things that come to mind, are probably the things that should make up your first three goals.

Karyn Cooks: Smoked Salmon and Spinach Pizza

It's a new year and almost all of us have resolved to eat healthier and/or lose weight (I'm doing both!). In that spirit, I've included a recipe for Smoked Salmon and Spinach Pizza from a free cookbook, I recently downloaded. I plan on making it this evening, but I figure I like smoked salmon, I like spinach and I like pizza. How can it be wrong???

What I love about these recipes is that they include all the nutritional info at the bottom so you know exactly how much you are eating. And for you Weight Watchers, each pizza is 4 points.

Ingredients:
• 1/2 cup tomato pasta sauce
• 1 cup frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed to drain
• 1/4 lb smoked salmon, cut into pieces
• 4 small baked cheese pizza crusts
• 4 scallions, thinly sliced
• 1 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded
• 1/2 tsp dried dill
• 1-1/3 tbsp capers, drained
• 1/4 cup sour cream

Cooking Directions:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Spread sauce evenly over cheese crusts and place on
oven tray. Divide next 4 ingredients over pizzas. Sprinkle each with dill and top
with shredded cheese. Bake 15-20 minutes, or until heated through. Serve with
sour cream.

Per Serving: calories 160, fat 11g, calories from fat 55% protein 15g, cholesterol 35mg,
dietary fiber 2.7g

For this recipe and others, click here!

Win in 2010: Resolutions vs. Goals

This is the first in a six part series called Win in 2010 designed to help readers stick to their goals and make the most out of the New Year.

As a major goal-setter and resolution maker, I found the following statistic surprising. Less than half of Americans still participate in the tradition of resolution making. In the past almost 9 out of 10 of us joined in that ritual. That could be because, according to the same survey, only 8% of resolution makers always are successful in achieving their resolutions. 24% of people never succeed in achieving their resolutions. It’s no wonder that tradition is falling out of favor.

But this year, just maybe, this year is the year things will be different. Over the next six weeks, I’ll share with you a few keys to resolution success. And this week, we’ll start with a simple one that could lead to a major paradigm shift.

In my mind, there is a distinct difference between a resolution and a goal. A resolution to me is nothing more than I wish. It’s something you’d like to do or want to do. However, in many cases, it’s not something that you will do or that you are committed to doing. Sure you might like to lose weight or quit smoking or save some money. It would be nice.

It’s no wonder so many resolutions fail! Many of them are made with less of a commitment than we give to what we’re going to have for lunch.

I propose that instead of approaching what you want with a weak resolution, you approach it as a strong goal. Goals imply work, planning and dedication – the very things you will need to make your resolution succeed. Goals are what you will do and what you must do. The word itself carries a heavier connotation than a resolution.

Plus, in my mind, the tradition of resolutions implies failure. When someone tells you they have resolved to lose weight or go back to school or make a budget and stick with it, we don’t take them seriously. We don’t expect to succeed when we set a resolution.

So this year, don’t resolve, sit down and set a goal. After all, the first half of the word goal is GO! Set your goals and map your plan for achieving them. Ready – Set-What are you waiting for?- GO!

Shameless Plug: I will be holding a teleseminar this Thursday at 8:00 p.m. (EST) called Getting to Goal. During this power-packed 90 minute seminar, you will set three goals and map a comprehensive and holistic plan for achieving them. For more information, click here.

Boy, Does Time Fly!

I remember being about 13 or 14 and I was talking to my mother about how I couldn't wait to drive. She laughed and said the words that I hear often in my head now. She said, "You are in such a rush! Time seems to pass so slowly for you. You can't wait to drive, then to graduate high school and then go to college. You just wait and see. After you get around 25 to 30, you are going to be surprised at how quickly time flies."

She was right.

It seems like just yesterday, we were all hording water and contemplating whether we should take all of our money out of the bank in anticipation of a possible Y2K disaster. Here it is 10 years later. We are a full decade into the new Millennium. Who would have thought? Where did the time go?

As we go into 2010, let's make a promise to cherish those around us and stop and smell the roses. Play with the kids and the grandkids. Get off work early and do something fun. Watch a sunset. Time flies and before you know it, it will be gone. So let's enjoy what we have, while we have it. Right now. The past is over. Tomorrow isn't here yet. All we ever really have is today. Think about it. There is a reason it's called the present.

Oh, yeah and one more thing...

The Year in Review

The week between Christmas and New Year's is filled with The Year in Review stories. What were the biggest songs and movies and TV shows of the year? Who had the best year? Who had the worst? What stories got the most attention?

When I do my goal setting workshops, I always start by having people do their own personal Year in Review. What happened this past year that was good? Maybe you found a great job or fell in love. You could have stopped smoking. Maybe you made some significant revelations about your life. Maybe you welcomed some wonderful new people into your life. Maybe you removed some not-so-wonderful people from your life. Or maybe you just found a hairstyle you loved. Big or small, there were a number of great things that happened this year and now it's a good time to acknowledge what worked, what went right.

In my workshops, I spend twice as long on what went right as I do on what went wrong or what didn't go as expected or planned. We tend to overlook the good and focus on the bad.

The bad things - the disappointments, the failures, the losses -seem to always be right in front of us, in the forefront of our minds and on the tips of our tongues. The good - the successes, small victories, the happy moments - aren't on the surface. We have to dig for them, sometimes very deeply.

As we prepare to go into 2010, take a little time to commend yourself for the things you have accomplished this year.

Celebrate you.

Oh, and next Monday, we'll be starting a whole new series: Win In 2010, where we'll be looking at what you can do to reach your goals in the new year.