Thursday, June 9, 2011

Seizing the Day ... for Couples

A commenter recently asked me an interesting question. She asked, "Any suggestions for your readers who try to seize the day, but their partners don't? How can they make changes in their relationship with the person they love if that person refuses to move forward?"

I would say to seize it anyway. It could be that your partner doesn't think that seizing the day would be worth the effort. Maybe he (or she) thinks enjoyment takes time away from meaningful work. But do what you need to do for you and it's entirely possible that your spouse may come around.

Once he sees how the benefits of seizing and enjoying the day are working for you, he may be willing to give it a try. Like it or not, people are always watching us. Living our truth is the best proof. If you talk about seizing the day but spend that day griping and complaining then those actions, and not your words, will be what people see. If your partner sees you enjoying yourself and really living your words, they might decide to join in.

Involve them in your activities. Find things that you both enjoy and can indulge in together. It's hard to get a guy to go to a chick flick. While that might be your idea of fun, to him, it would be more akin to a seizure than actually seizing the day! LOL! Share in an experience that both of you want to experience together.

Consider his concerns. Maybe he thinks that seizing the day is too time-consuming or expensive. Show him how to seize a few hours instead of a whole day or how to seize the day on a budget.

But. ...

If he doesn't join you, that doesn't mean that you should give up on seizing the day for yourself. Don't let someone else's sour attitude sour yours. Find some ways to seize the day on your own or with other friends or family. Of course we want to experience the best things in life with our partners, but just because they aren't on board doesn't mean you need to jump ship. Your happiness and your peace of mind (and even your health) are at stake and you shouldn't sacrifice those for anyone.

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