Using Your Powers for Good

Children, especially young children, live in a world of imagination. A little girl can imagine herself a princess of a magical fairy tale kingdom. She can also imagine herself chased through a dark forest with a big scary monster hiding behind every tree.


As we grow into adulthood, we put the magical fantasies away and becomes immersed in the real world - a world of characterized by problems and challenges.Yet, imagination is still there working quietly behind the scenes. Since life is often hard and challenging, our imaginations often follow suite. We imagine ourselves stuck in the same unfulfilled job or relationship. We imagine our minor health crisis turning into a major one. We imagine ourselves drowning in debt and a paycheck away from poverty.


We need to begin to harness the power of imagination for good and that starts with trading in negative images for more positive ones. The next time you find yourself in the midst of the negative imagining, try changing it to a more positive one. See yourself happy in a new job or relationship. Picture yourself healthy and happy. Imagine a life with your debt decreasing and your savings increasing.


When you imagine these things, get happy. Motivational speaker and author Anthony Robbins says that feeling intensify your thoughts and helps them stick. So when you think about your success, allow yourself to get excited about it.


Finally, when you take a step in the right direction - sticking to your diet, putting your resume on Careerbuilder or exercising - get excited about taking a step in the right direction. Imagine yourself doing it again and again. Imagine yourself paying off that bill or completing an even more challenging workout. Start imagining yourself succeeding and then you'll truly start to believe in your success. Start believing in your success and you'll begin to act in ways that will make you more successful. Before you know it, you will have turned your dream into a reality.

You're Awesome!

We don't spend enough time accentuating the positive, looking at what's gone right or the challenges we've overcome and the successes we've had. We do this for a number of reasons. We don't want to toot our own horns. We don't want to be accused of being arrogant. There are too many other fires to put out and things that aren't going out right to handle.

While we often feel bad about feeling good about our accomplishments; we don't mind feeling bad about our failures, missteps and mistakes. We view beating ourselves up as a motivator, something that will propel us forward.

Yet, feeling good about your accomplishments leads to confidence, self-assurance and a positive outlook. When we feel good about ourselves, we feel capable of handling whatever comes next.

So go ahead and feel good. You have a lot to feel good about. I'll give you some ideas.

1. Look at how well your kids have turned out.
2. You have great friends who love you.
3. You have had some great work successes
4. You're in a stable relationship.
5. You've made the best of a bad situation.
6. Your boss relies on you.
7. Your co-workers respect you.
8. You have talent.
9. You are creative.
10. You are smart.
11. People are attracted to you.
12. You are dependable and others rely on you.
13. You've weathered a major storm and came out a better person.
14. Your kids think they have a great parent.
15. You're good with money.
16. You give great advice.
17. You look great!
18. You're an optimist.
19. You're faith is strong.
20. Your life is good.

Focus on what is good. Give yourself credit. You might argue with your children or have to punish them but that doesn't mean you aren't a good parent. You might not be a concert pianist but that doesn't mean you don't have a talent for playing the piano.

The goal isn't to look over your life and find perfection. The goal is to look over your life and give yourself credit for your accomplishments and a job well done.

As the puppy says, "Who's Awesome? You're Awesome!" ... and who can argue with a cute puppy?

Happy Birthday!

Tomorrow I will be 42.

I love my birthday and I celebrate it every year. I never go to work on my birthday and starting September 1st, I count it down. All of my friends know exactly how many shopping days are left until my favorite day of the year. At work the other day, a co-worker said, “You know, most women don’t make a big deal about their birthdays and they NEVER let people know how old they are.”

Well, I will be the happy exception. My mom was just three years older than me when she died of complications from diabetes. I watched her over the last few years of her life go from a vibrant, exciting woman to a woman who had lost her sight, needed dialysis several times a week and was often too weak to get out of bed. I was 15 when she passed.

So, yes, I celebrate my birthday because it’s another year above ground. I celebrate my birthday because I am blessed with health and surrounded by good and loving friends and family. In fact, I'll take it one step further. I celebrate every day that I am blessed to see a sunrise, a sunset or stars in the sky. I celebrate when I take a walk outside or dance around like a crazy person to a favorite song. Heck, I celebrate when I write this blog because writing is something I truly love to do.

My birthday is a cause for celebration and as long as I’m blessed with a birthday, I will celebrate it. However, I will celebrate the other 364 days of the year as well because I try to recognize on a daily basis the multitude of blessings that so many of us take for granted.

If You've Never Failed ....

A.W.E – Amazing WOW Experience

Last week, I had a truly A.W.E.-inspiring moment. A summer storm had just passed, intense with its displays of electrifying lightning and booming thunder and over almost as soon as it began. After it passed, I grabbed the leash and took the Marty for a walk.

I saw it immediately – a beautiful rainbow arching in the sky. It was gorgeous. I stared at it the entire time. Midway through the walk, I noticed something else, a second faint rainbow, almost like a shadow over the first. A double-rainbow! I didn’t have my real camera with me but I did have my camera phone and I quickly tried to capture it. The photo is okay but it just didn’t do justice to what I saw with my own eyes.

It is truly a gift to keep your sense of wonder and awe into adulthood. It’s one of the things I appreciate most about my dad. At 72, he still has experiences that make him say, “Wow!” Others have lost their sense of wonder and find awe and wow beneath them. As adults, they discount these moments, labeling them immature or irrational or just plain silly. My heart goes out to those people.

I remember driving across country some years ago. I had stopped for the night in Albuquerque, NM. The next morning, I got up very early and hit the road again, several hours before sunrise. I drove out of the city and into the night. And then, it happened. A.W.E. Outside of the city, driving into darkness, the sky opened up. I saw twice as many stars as I had ever seen before and they were all about five times as big! It was almost as if I could reach out and touch them. I felt like I was driving in space! I was A.W.E.-struck. It was amazing.

I could sit here and recount some of my most A.W.E.-inspiring moments – an unexpected elephant sighting in South Africa, watching dolphins playing in the ocean, marveling at the tininess of a newborn’s hand, the beauty of a sunset or a perfect rose dappled with several raindrops. My point is that A.W.E. happens and it happens all around us.

A.W.E. can happen anywhere at any time we just have to be aware of it and willing to experience it.

Finish Strong!

And now for something a little different...

I want to share with you one of my favorite motivational videos. It showcases some incredible winners and what they had to overcome - amputation, handicaps, and rallying back after incredible defeats. And the best part is that it's done to the theme of Rocky III, Eye of the Tiger. If this doesn't motivate you, nothing will!

The Climb

For me, hiking is like a form of active meditation. When I lived in Maryland, I found a park with a trail that I loved. It was 5 miles long and winded down around the Patapsco River.

At first, I would only do the first part of the trail, but one day I decided to go the whole 5 miles. I made my way down by the river. It was beautiful, quiet and scenic. There were very few people on the trail, so as I walked, I really had time to enjoy the peacefulness of just being in nature.

Well, as with most guided trails, every once in a while you come to a tree with a marker, my marker on this trail was just a white stripe on a tree. When you see a tree with two stripes, it’s a sign that the path is changing directions, a quick glance to the left or the right will reveal another tree with a single white stripe that you follow to continue on your trail.

So I’m about 4 miles in. The river is to my right. To my left, the woods gave way to a hill, as I walk, I notice the hill on my left is getting steeper and steeper. In fact, I can see the deer prints on the steep hill where deer appear to have slid partially down the hill.

I said to myself, “Thank goodness, I don’t have to go up there.” Well, about 100 feet later, I come across the dreaded double stripe; I could not go any further on this trail. To my right is the water. Can’t go that way. The only possible way I can go is left, up the hill. Slowly I turn to my left and there, midway up the steep, deep, hill, there it is – the lone stripe letting me know that THIS is the way I have to go. I said to myself, “Oh, s**t.” It wasn’t easy but finally I made it to the top grabbing on to trees, branches and occasionally thick tree roots along the way. At the top, as I had several times on the climb up, I had to stop and catch my breath. The good part is that once I got to the top, the hike was almost over.

I continued to walk this path about once a week and I truly enjoyed it. But from that day on, whenever I got about halfway through I began dreading the climb up what I affectionately called Oh S**t Hill. Each time I walked the trail, I had that miserable climb in the back of my head and each time I struggled to make it to the top.

One day, all of that changed. Midway though the walk, I got a nagging pain in my thigh. I tried to walk it off but couldn’t. At one point, I wanted to turn around and go back but I was so far along that it would have taken me even longer to go back the way I’d come.

On this day, when I saw my old friend OSH, I didn’t look at it with dread. This time, I looked at it with relief. This time, that hill didn’t represent a difficult challenge; it represented the only thing standing between me and the end of that trail. I took a deep breath and started to climb. I climbed harder and faster than I ever had before and as I reached the top, I realized I hadn’t even lost my breath. I was back at my car in about 10 minutes.

The hill hadn’t changed. I hadn’t changed. But, what it represented in my mind did, and that made all the difference. The hill stopped being an obstacle. It stopped being a problem. It actually became something I looked forward to.

Changing the way that hill looked to me made all of the difference.

Memories

I grew up with Michael Jackson. I remember watching the Jackson 5 cartoon on Sunday morning, singing Rockin’ Robin and ABC with my cousins. One of the first albums I ever bought was Off the Wall. And, of course, there is Thriller.

A few months ago, my friend Cindy stopped and the movie 13 Going on 30 was on. Jennifer Garner’s character, who went from 13 to 30 overnight, needed to get a boring party started. In the movie’s most memorable scene, she gets the DJ to play Thriller and then stands in the middle of the dance floor by herself and begins to do those legendary zombie moves. The whole crowd joins in.

Cindy (who’s about 6 years younger than me) balked. She said, “Like all of those people would remember that dance.” Without saying a word, I got up and did it with them, that is how influential that dance, that video and that album are to people my age. Yes, Cindy, we do know it. We still know it!!

I remember loving MTV but never seeing any black artist’s videos. It was Michael Jackson who broke that color barrier with the iconic Billie Jean video. I could go on — the Motown 25 performance (that introduced the moonwalk), the Bad and Beat It videos, the one glove, the fact that boys with jheri curls and Thriller jackets were once thought to be good catches, all part of my best memories.

I still love the Jackson 5, Off the Wall, Thriller and even most of the work he did through the 90’s (Man in the Mirror, Remember the Time, Keep it in the Closet to name a few). Unfortunately, I had to watch with horror as his golden image was tarnished by an eerie physical transformation; increasingly bizarre behaviors (remember the oxygen chamber, Bubbles the Chimp and the shear nuttiness that was Neverland), and worse of all, the allegations of sexual abuse and unsettling sleeping arrangements with young boys.

When I was 15, my mother died. As she succumbed to a multitude of diabetic complications, I watched her become weak and frail, a shadow of the dynamic woman who raised me. Yet I choose to remember her as the strong, intelligent and vibrant force that she was for the majority of her life. And so it will be with Michael. I will remember the wonderful memories that he will always be a part of and when I think of him, I will smile.

Farrah Fawcett also died yesterday. As a child of the 70’s almost every boy I knew had that poster of her in the red swimsuit. But she really came to life for me, as Jill one of the original Charlie’s Angels. She will always be a part of one of my fondest Christmas memories. I will never forget running down the stairs and seeing my Charlie’s Angels action figures. LOL!

Farrah reinvented herself in the 80’s courtesy of the television movie, The Burning Bed. She showed that she was more than a pretty face (and incredible hair), she could act too. In this last year of her life, she reinvented herself again as one of the many courageous faces of cancer. She gave us all a gritty and unflinching glimpse into her fight against this disease. Beautiful, bold and brave is how I will remember her.

I'm a Fan

I am in awe of Susan Boyle, the Britain’s Got Talent contestant and You Tube phenom. Her first appearance during the audition phase of the show offered vindication for everyone who’s ever been written off as not attractive enough, too old or who just didn’t fit the stereotype of what a ‘success’ should be.

Susan walked onstage to laughter, sighs and rolled eyes. Everyone, including the judges had made up their mind about her before she'd uttered one word. When asked why she was there she said, “I'd like to be a professional singer,” and everyone laughed and snickered.

It all changed though when she opened her mouth. Before the end of the first verse the audience and the judges were rapt. People were on the edge of their seats, listening intently to the sounds coming out of the mouth of this frumpy, 48-year old woman who admitted that she’d never even been kissed!

This woman who had lived her entire adult life caring for her mother and who now lived alone with her cat; this woman who'd been the brunt of jokes and teasing from the neighborhood kids; this woman an unemployed church volunteer was having her MOMENT. And what a moment it was!

What had started amidst laughter and ridicule ended with tears of joy and an eruption of applause. The smug judges were humbled and offered their sincerest apologies. News of this sensation spread and within a week, her video had been played millions of times on YouTube.

Since then, Susan Boyle's even been on Oprah.

Needless to say, she made it into the competition and when she performed again, singing Memory from Cats, she confirmed that she was no fluke. This unsuspecting modest woman has the world at her feet and all because she took a chance and auditioned.

She was made fun of and laughed at but she knew that she had talent. She had enough confidence in herself and belief in her abilities to face the naysayers and prove them wrong. It took a lot of courage to set foot on that stage but she took the change. Talk about losing the excuses!

Susan Boyle is an inspiration. Watch her first perfomance (if you haven't seen it already): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik

**UPDATE: Boyle came in second place to a British dance group called Diversity. But she's still number one in my book!**