Get Inspired

Have you lost your passion for something you used to love? If so, today’s blog post is for you.

I used to love to cook. I’d test recipes or make up my own. I’d love potlucks and special occasions at work when we’d have to bring in a dish. I had a great time for a few years hosting Thanksgiving dinners.

Yet over the years, cooking became more function than fun. It was something I had to do and wanted to get through as soon as possible. Meals became very rote and very basics. The passion I’d once felt was gone.

It took a cranky British chef to bring it back for me. I’m a huge fan of Hell’s Kitchen. Actually, I’m a huge fan of Gordon Ramsay. I watch Hell’s Kitchen. I followed him on Friday nights to Kitchen Nightmares and when he started Master Chef, I was in.

Unlike Hell’s Kitchen that focuses on actual culinary professionals or Kitchen Nightmares, with its real restaurants, Master Chef was about real people who just had a passion for cooking and baking good food.  Among the contestants were lawyers, servers, travel writers and marketing pros. These were people who still had the passion.

Their passion was infectious and when Christmas time came around this past year, I decided that I wanted to give myself a nice gift. After a lot of thought, I decided to get new cookware, and not just any cookware but the good stuff.

When my cookware finally arrived, I was ecstatic. That same night I started cooking. Now, I am looking forward to cooking in a way I haven’t in years. The investment was worth it because it reignited my desire to cook and once that passion was reignited, I realized exactly how much I had truly missed it. It was like reconnecting with an old friend.

So, if you have lost your passion, what can you do to reignite it? Believe me. It’s worth the effort.

Do What You Love?

I have a friend who we'll call Shelly. She and I met while we were fledgling writers in Los Angeles. I moved on several years ago and now she's getting ready to leave Los Angeles as well. Although Shelly's excited about her transition, she's also a little bit down. You see, she wasn't able to 'make it' as a writer in L.A. and she feels as though she let herself down.

Do what you love.

Shelly loved to write but she wasn't able to translate that into a career. So now what? Well, what I'm about to say might rub some people the wrong way, but I'll say it anyway. Maybe you shouldn't quit your day job.

Doing what you love doesn't have to mean doing it professionally. Doing what you love doesn't mean it has to be your career. There are a variety of ways to fuel your passions.

In talking to Shelly, she took the do what you love mantra literally. She loved to write. She felt should be writing all day and making a living from it. If she wasn't, she wasn't a success. Meanwhile, she's an award-winning property manager who enjoys her work. She is a success. Yet, that didn't even register for her because she was so consumed with her rigid definition of writing success.

Doing what you love can manifest itself in a number of ways. As a writer, Shelly can fuel her passions by writing a blog, keeping a journal, writing freelance articles, writing for her church magazine or bulletin, writing poetry or trying her hand at writing a novel. There are a number of viable outlets for her. Likewise, a singer doesn't have to be the next American Idol or a Platinum-selling artist. He can join the church choir or other choral group, become a regular at the local karoake club. If the passion is singing, then the goal should be to sing.

Now, your day job should be something you enjoy; it should be something you have an affinity for. You spend too many hours at work to hate it. Your 'day job' shouldn't be something you endure until you get your big break.

All of us have been blessed with gifts. Some of us can find ways to join our passions and purpose with our professions. For the rest of us, the challenge is to look more broadly and find other ways to satisfy our talents and creativity.

What Are You Doing?

Stop, right now and ask yourself, "What am I really doing?"

Are you in a job that fulfills you or are you there just to collect a paycheck? Are you happy with your relationship or just going through the motions? Are you enjoying your kids or just running them around from Point A to Point B? When is the last time you laughed? When is the last time you cried?

What are you doing?

It's an important question and one we rarely ask. When you do stop to answer it, the first answer is usually a rattled off list of to-dos. "I picked up the groceries, got the oil changed, completed the presentation, helped the kids with the homework," and so it goes.

But as a life coach, you know I'm looking deeper than that. When I ask, "What are you doing?" I want you to get beyond the busy-ness. I want to get down to the heart of the matter. What are you contributing? What lives are you touching? Are you raising great kids? Are you creating lasting memories?

Granted, as adults, we know that life is about a lot more than doing what we want to do. Sure, I'd love to sit at home and write all day but pesky little things like a mortgage, lights and food have to be paid. Yet even as we live our day-to-day lives, I challenge you to do a little more.

I read a statistic that said that the average American worker spends less than 2 minutes in meaningful conversation with their significant other and less than 30 seconds in meaningful conversation with their children. Is that really what we want to do?

Smile more. Use the time in the car or in the kitchen to have a real conversation. Volunteer. Help a neighbor. Spend some time in nature. Spend an hour or two a week, doing something you love. Be present at work and give it your best.

Whatever you do, do it. Do it fully. Do it with excitement. Do it with love.

Gifts that Keep Giving

A few Christmases ago, I decided to give a truly unique gift to my Dad. I enlarged a few of my favorite photos, found a really unique frame and created a one-of-a-kind gift.

On Christmas Day, I was so excited when my Dad opened it. Then my heart fell. He said, “Oh,” carefully put it down and proceeded to get all excited about the next gift he received: a men’s grooming kit. He was especially excited by the nose hair clippers.

I thought about that incident the other night when I was thinking about gifts. Not so much presents, but the gifts that each and every one of us have. Some of us have a knack for numbers, or a passion for fashion, or an ear for music. Others are gifted teachers, counselors or engineers. We all have something to contribute.

What a shame it is when we put that gift aside. What a waste. Imagine all of the wonderful things we are missing out on because people don’t use their gifts. Imagine all of the joy we deny ourselves when we put aside that which only we can offer.

There are several reasons why we don’t go with our gifts.

Gifts aren’t effortless. They do require some effort and some dedication. A gifted dancer still has to master the basic steps. A photographer still has to learn about composition and lenses and the workings of the camera.

Gifts aren’t all-or-nothing propositions. You don’t have to quit your day job. There are other ways to let your talents shine. Volunteer. Become a mentor. Make it into a hobby. Do it part-time.

Give your gifts a chance. Experience them. Express them. Allow yourself to feel the joy that comes when you allow your special talents to shine through.

The History Makers

Yesterday, history was made. A nation held its breath as Barack Obama placed his hand on the Bible and took the Oath of Office. Just a day after the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, and 46 years after Martin's I Have a Dream Speech, the dream was realized.

The weight of history and the spirit of change is in the air. The emotion and the pride of a country is pulsing wildly through its veins. Just watching it on television, you could feel the positive energy radiating through the screen. It would be a shame if we were to just let all that good feeling dissipate. So, while we still have this momentum, while the dream has been rekindled and while history continues to be made, my challenge to you is to make your own history. As Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world.

Be the first person in your family to purchase a home or get out of debt. Inspire your children to get their education (hopefully Obama can make doing well in school cool).

Be the person who stands up and says "No" to the status quo and business as usual. Demand better for yourself and those around you and accept nothing less.

Be the person who greets people with a smile and treats others with respect, patience and empathy. Be the one who speaks with honesty and love.

Be the one that will end the cycle of abuse and low expectations. Be the one that ends the revolving door of prison, poverty and parental neglect.

Be the one that finds beauty in the mirror and warmth in your own embrace.

Be the one that reaches for the stars.

First Class Treatment

I was in Montana for work all last week and I flew back to Charlotte last night. It had been a long day and by early evening, the only thing separating me from home was the four hour flight from Salt Lake City to Charlotte. I sat on the aisle in the first row of seats in the Coach section.

I had a perfect view into First Class where there were two very pleasant and attentive flight atttendants for the handful of VIP passengers. Those in First Class had drinks before take off and just in general seemed to be having a good time being showered with extra attention. Meanwhile, just one row and a flimsy blue drape away, I sat in Coach among the crying children and cramped seats. I watched while they had snacks in First Class, more drinks and a nice hot meal with real silver and glassware.

And I waited in Coach, with over 70 people, who were also being served by two flight attendants, for almost two hours just to get a soda and pay top dollar for a cold fried chicken sandwich. When I asked for one of the Margaritas they'd been promoting, I was told they didn't have time to make one for me.

It occurred to me as I sat there eating my sandwich that we tend to treat our loved ones as if they are riding in Coach. Like those Coach flight attendants, we are often spread too thin with too many things to do and too many people to serve. No time to do anything extra.

Yet every once in a while, it would be great if we could treat those we love to a little first class treatment. Run a hot bath for the hubby after a hard day. Give the wife a day off and treat her to dinner (or cook it yourself). Spend an evening with the kids doing something they absolutely love. Go get manicures with your best friend.

Believe me, a little first class treatment can go a long way.

Life on Purpose

Earlier today, I participated in a tele-class on finding your life’s purpose. There were hundreds of us on the call. In his introduction, the leader said something I found remarkable. Not everyone wants to know what their purpose is. Why wouldn’t you want to know why you are here, having this experience? Why wouldn’t you want to know what it is you are supposed to do or how you are supposed to contribute?

He gave two reasons. Some people are content to go through life from day-to-day, never realizing and never caring about doing something, or being something more than what they already are. Others are scared to know their purpose. If they knew it, they would have to act on it. Not knowing means not doing.

For those who want to know their purpose, the major obstacle to finding it can be summed up in one word: fear. As long as we fear our purpose - what it could be, what it could mean, what it would require of us and what we might have to sacrifice to get it - we’ll never know it.

Personally, I feel strongly that coaching is part of my purpose. I am passionate about it. Whether I’m working with a client, writing this blog, coordinating a workshop or a tele-class, I truly love what I do and I know that I've had a positive impact on the lives of my clients. I feel that has to be a part of my purpose.

I’m looking forward to delving more deeply into uncovering my purpose.

What about you? Have you found your purpose or your passion? Do you feel that kind of quest is even relevant to your life?