Monday, February 14, 2011

Indulge in Love

Every Monday in February, we are focusing on some aspect of love. After all, as the song says, Love is a many splendored thing!

Valentine's Day is for lovers. Having said that, I've spent plenty of Valentine's Days alone. So today's post will be divided into two. One part for the couples among us and one part is for the singles among us. Read the part that applies to you.

For The Couples
There are two ways this day can go for you: one fraught with fun and romance, the other fraught with fuming anger and disappointment. The key to making Valentine's Day work for you is to make sure you are both on the same page. If one of you is thinking "Ah! Romance! An intimate dinner at my favorite restaurant, flowers, gifts and expressions of love and longing all day long" and the other is thinking "I'll rush to the store for a card and other than that, it's just another day," ... we have a problem.
Talking about expectations doesn't spoil the fun and make surprises impossible, but it does make for fewer arguments and disappointments. Yes, you may be reading this on Valentine's Day but that doesn't mean it's too late! Get on the same page! Now!
Also, find a way to honor the person you are with and the relationship you have. There is no cookie cutter approach to this ... all women (and men) are different, what works for one, won't necessarily work for the other. Flowers might work (as long as there is no allergy), candy could be good (unless your partner is on a diet and then maybe a fruit bouquet would be better), a heartfelt card could be nice (if your partner is the sensitive type) or maybe even a funny card (if your partner is goofy like me).
Ideally, something more individualized might be in order. I have a friend who does intimate photography for singles and couples, maybe that would be a gift you'd like to give ( Shopping for lingerie or other goodies could be fun as well. As long as both of you are enjoying yourselves, anything goes!
Whatever you do, you make it special when you base it on what you think your partner will like. Have fun!
For the Singles
Okay, so you don't have a partner right now. It's okay. This day isn't designed for you but it doesn't mean you can't have fun anyway.
If you know a few other singles, get together and go out together. Dress up, go to a favorite restaurant and go out as a group. Pamper yourself. Get a massage. Go shopping. Treat yourself to a manicure and a pedicure. If you can afford it, a little retail therapy never hurts.
The moral of the story for singles is that you are single and that's fine. I don't really care what you do as long as you don't sulk and get all depressed. I know sometimes I feel like the world is made for couples. It's easier to think that the grass is always greener on the other side, but it's not always the case.
You're single for a reason and for a season. You could be in relationships right now, but you don't want a relationship, you want the right relationship and that takes time. The truth of the matter is that when you are single, there are a lot of reasons why you want to have a relationship. When you are in a relationship, you'll look back and think of some of the benefits of being single.
So celebrate today because you are exactly where you need to be.

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