Karyn's College Study Guide

I am so excited for my little sister! She is starting college today. She’s had about a week to get settled in and her first classes begin today.

My college years were great. I had a ton of fun, made some good friends and learned some valuable life lessons. Although it was fun, I never forgot why I was there. I was there to get my degree and my father made it abundantly clear that it needed to happen in four years and poor grades would not be tolerated.

So, I developed a system for studying that allowed me to study Sunday through Thursday. I never had to cram for tests and I was always prepared. Plus I had weekends off to have fun with my friends.

I decided, as I gift to my little sister, I’d write out my strategy and share it with her. In fact, I’m if you have kids, siblings, cousins, or others who need something like this, email me at coach-u@live.com and I’ll send you a copy. Put College Study Guide in the subject and I’ll get it right out to you.

Walk then Run

The road to weight loss for me has not been an easy one. So, recently I decided to add a running program to my weight loss plan. Now this is a huge deal for me. I have not run since my 10th grade gym teacher made me run a mile to pass gym (and I was sick that day). Since then, the only things I run are bath water and my mouth! I don’t run for the bus, I’ve never run for office. Run, for me, should be runn because it's definitely a four letter word!


So I went online and looked up a walk-to-run program. Over 10 weeks, you start with short intervals of running (jogging) followed by time walking. During the program, each week, you increase your run time and decrease your walk time. At the end of the 10 weeks, you’re running 20 minutes without stopping. Since I’m not really ready to walk/run outside, I decided to start with my treadmill first while I build up some endurance.


I called a good friend of mine and shared with her my excitement about my new plan. My friend, a former runner immediately jumped in and tried to help. She wanted to know how fast I’d be running. She didn’t really see the point of all those intervals. She suggested I start running outside because that’s better than running on a treadmill. There were tons of things I needed to do or hadn’t considered. It was sort of overwhelming.


All of the sudden, I wasn’t excited anymore. As I felt my enthusiasm waning, I stopped myself and then I stopped her. I told her I appreciated her help and her advice. And I’m sure she’s probably right about everything BUT …


I just want to get started.


Sure there might be better, more technical ways to begin but this was my way and as I see it, some running is better than no running. Running (or jogging) faster than I would walk is a good thing. As my confidence grows, I’ll venture outside, but right now, as a struggle through running for 30 seconds before stopping, I would feel too self-conscious to run past neighbors or at the gym. I don’t want perfection, I just want a start.


She understood and I told her that I would be seeking her advice or even a running buddy on down the line but right now I just needed to begin.


My victory isn’t in running flawlessly, my victory is in running at all.

Do You. For You.

Kim, a good friend of mine runs a blog called Recession Lessons. It’s filled with special offers and tips on saving money. She is an expert at saving money. In fact, she's passionate about it.

I was talking with her a while back and she shared with me some feedback she'd received from a Facebook post about coupons. Several people revealed that they could never go into a store with coupons. What would people think?

Well, I went into my favorite grocery store during a double coupon event and between sales and coupons, I saved $48. I told any and everybody. I was not ashamed. I was proud and darn proud at that!

My point is this. I might never see the people in that line again. Even if I did, who cares? I’m not trying to impress strangers or acquaintances. I’m trying to live my life in a way that decreases stress and increases my happiness and peace of mind. I saved the equivalent of a tank of gas and that is what mattered to me.

Living for others - what they might think and what they might say - is not a priority for me. I don’t dress for others. I don’t shop for others. I love earrings and if I want to splurge on a pair of two, I will but it’s because it’s what I want, not because someone else will be impressed.

Do you, for you. Take control of yourself for yourself. Don’t make yourself a victim to someone else’s illusions.

Get Lucky

What does it really mean when someone is considered lucky? Does it mean that nothing bad ever happens? Does it mean everything always works out the way they hope? We wish people good luck. Some people carry good luck charms. In fact, there is a whole subsection of superstitions dedicated to what you can do to improve your luck. So short of throwing salt over your shoulder and not breaking mirrors, what can you do to get lucky?

I think luck starts with attitude and expectations. ‘Unlucky’ people like to say how unlucky they are or dwell on how often things don’t work. Whereas most of the people I know who are considered lucky focus on the positive, they think and talk about what is going right. They look at the future with optimism instead of ominous dread.

If you are ‘unlucky in love’, could that have something to do with your attitude about love? Are you expecting more ‘bad luck’? If so, should you be surprised when you get it?

I think lucky people also have more resilience. When they’ve applied for 99 jobs, they continue to put their resume out there, instead of taking time out for a pity party. They look at what isn’t working and dare to make changes. They tweak the resume, brush up on their interview skills, they do something about the situation.

Finally, in my experiences, most lucky people exude a positive energy. You can actually feel it when you are in their presence. Energy attracts like energy. These are people you want to be around and to me that is the key to luck. People and things are drawn to them because of their attitude, their resilience and their spirit.

Lucky people hold on to the positive and then act on it. Lucky people aren’t just thinkers or wishers or dreamers, they are doers.

Want to change your luck?

• Be positive
• Be optimistic
• Be resilient
• Be a doer

Watch how your luck will change!

Show It, Don't Say It

If you polled a group of people and asked them what they value most, at the top of many list would be family, or health. If they focused on values, they’d say things like honesty and trust. We all know what we are supposed to say, but it’s what we do that matters.

If you truly value your health but routinely inhale Big Macs and Snickers bars, can you really say that health is an important value? If you cheat on your taxes and your spouse, is honesty really of paramount importance. Integrity is about living your values and being honest to yourself. The opposite of integrity is hypocrisy.

So I ask you, not just what do you value or what do you deem most important? I ask, how do your actions illustrate your values? How do you put your values into practice?

Integrity is putting your values in action. Without action, you don’t have values, you have pretty ideas. They might look good on paper and sound even better when they flow effortlessly out of your mouth but unless you are living them, nothing else really matters.

Integrity is about being honest with yourself about your reality – who you really are. Who are you and how do your actions and behaviors reflect that?

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” Spencer Johnson

The History Makers

Yesterday, history was made. A nation held its breath as Barack Obama placed his hand on the Bible and took the Oath of Office. Just a day after the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, and 46 years after Martin's I Have a Dream Speech, the dream was realized.

The weight of history and the spirit of change is in the air. The emotion and the pride of a country is pulsing wildly through its veins. Just watching it on television, you could feel the positive energy radiating through the screen. It would be a shame if we were to just let all that good feeling dissipate. So, while we still have this momentum, while the dream has been rekindled and while history continues to be made, my challenge to you is to make your own history. As Gandhi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world.

Be the first person in your family to purchase a home or get out of debt. Inspire your children to get their education (hopefully Obama can make doing well in school cool).

Be the person who stands up and says "No" to the status quo and business as usual. Demand better for yourself and those around you and accept nothing less.

Be the person who greets people with a smile and treats others with respect, patience and empathy. Be the one who speaks with honesty and love.

Be the one that will end the cycle of abuse and low expectations. Be the one that ends the revolving door of prison, poverty and parental neglect.

Be the one that finds beauty in the mirror and warmth in your own embrace.

Be the one that reaches for the stars.

Birthday Blessings and Birthday Blues

Today is a ‘milestone’ birthday for me. I am now 40 years old. It’s definitely a glass half-empty, half-full affair. As I enter my fifth decade, I would have never guessed that I would be never-married and childless (half-empty). At the same time, I am now a home-owner. I am debt-free. I have meaningful work that I love. And, I’m the proud pet parent of Marty, America’s Favorite Pooch (half-full).

I was talking to a friend about the half-empty part. She said to me, “But, you are a life coach!” True, and I realize this is a case of “physician heal thyself.” And I am working on it. Being a coach doesn’t mean that I don’t have issues. We all do. I guess for me being a coach means that I’m a person who continues to seek answers - a person who constantly and consistently seeks opportunities to grow.

In the meantime, I’ll celebrate my health, my friends and all the glass half-full. Focusing on the half-empty part won’t help me get it filled but being grateful for all the blessings that I have definitely will.

Help Me With My Positive Playlist

I read the book The Secret over a year ago. I've been doing vision boards ever since. And, I have to say, I've seen some of those visions come to pass. I had money on my board. Several months later, I auditioned for Millionaire and two months later, I had taped my episode. I had a vision of a new car. I got that too. I just moved into a new house that was also featured on my vision board.

Now, I'm working on what the book referred to as a Secret Shifter - something that can shift your mood when it's less than productive. I have a few songs, but I can use some help selecting a few more.

Here's what I have so far ... and why.

Magic (Robin Thicke) - This song is about the power of your thoughts and how we all have the ability to create our own 'magic.' All I got is concrete all around me, but I can see the countryside. You can be rich when you’re poor. Poor when you’re rich. It can be raining and I can make the sun shine.

Be Optismistic (Sounds of Blackness): The title says it all. As long as you keep your head to the sky. Be Optimistic!

Gotta Get Up (Jill Scott): If ever there was a Monday morning song, this is it! She wants to stay in bed but she's gotta get up. I'd rather chill at home. I'd rather lay alone. It's true, but I got to work. I don't wanna go. I wanna play today. But what can I say. Bills to pay. I just can't get comfortable doing nothing! That last line is my favorite :)

Make It Happen (Mariah Carey): This is one of her earlier songs and it tells the story of her determination as she tried to make it in the business. Still I had to keep on going, never knowing. If I could take it, if I could make it thorugh the night. I held on to my faith. I struggled and I prayed. And now I've found my way. If you believe in yourself enough and know what you want, you're gonna make it happen.

You Can't Get What You Want (Joe Jackson): Back in the 80's, I was addicted to MTV. Joe Jackson was a cool British singer and sang the truth with this one. You can't get what you want ... til you know what you want.

You Gotta Be (Des'ree): This song is full of good advice. Listen as your day unfolds. Challenge what the future holds. Try and keep your head up to the sky. Lovers, they may cause you

What other songs should I include? I'm open to almost every style of music!

Busy Isn't Always Effective

As a trainer, I often send out emails regarding classes and schedules and I know for a fact that a number of my co-workers don’t bother to read them. They say to me with pride, “I don’t have time to read that stuff. I have a job to do.”

It may be a day or two later, but some of these very busy people will contact me, and they will ask questions that I have already addressed and answered in the email that they couldn’t be bothered to read.

Being busy is not the same as being effective. The irony is that these people waste time by trying to save time.

Busy people are devoted to multi-tasking. They write e-mails while on a conference call. They return phone calls while trying to read a report. How effective is it when the calls takes twice as long to make, the email is riddled with typos and time is wasted reading and re-reading the report because they weren’t paying attention?

As my mother would say, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when are you going to find the time to do it again?”

It sounds like heresy but you get more accomplished if you focus on one thing at a time. Take 30 seconds to read the email. When you are on a critical call, be on the call and not doing something else. If you have a document to proofread, proof read it.

Complete your tasks sequentially and don’t waste time by jumping back and forth. Every time you stop one thing and start another, you lose time shifting gears and regaining your focus.

If you must multi-task make sure one of those tasks is very simple: talk on the phone while stuffing envelopes or doing some light filing. I often return phone calls in the early evening while I’m walking my dog. However, if both tasks require your attention, set aside a block of time to complete each one.

Be better than busy, be effective.

Taking a Dump

Life is good! And it’s also very busy. I will be out of town for work for a week. I’ve got coaching to do, two websites to manage, a few deadlines to meet and I’m moving at the end of the month. I’ve been running like I crazy woman and right now, I feel like it’s catching up with me.

So what is my plan for tonight? First, I’m going to do what I call a brain dump. I’ll pull out my trusty planner and write down all those to-do’s that are racing through my head. I always feel better after a brain dump. Getting those ideas out of my head and on to paper gets rid of that nagging fear that I’m going to forget something.

After that I’m going to do … nothing. Well, actually I will do a couple of things. I’m going to take a long bath, write in my journal and maybe get some reading done or find something good on television.
If I tried to work tonight, I don’t think I would get anything done tonight anyway. I’ve learned that when I’m tired and I try to force myself to work, I end up stressed and frustrated and unfocused. Any work I do accomplish will take twice as long and end up half as good.

So this evening, I will relax and tomorrow, I’ll wake up rested and ready to go.

Now … I’m going to go take that dump!